Father determined to die as he gives his words

Introduction to Restoration II

Father, determined to die as a martyr as he gives his words

We must read Father’s speech Book often. Do you know what benefit you can gain in your life of faith if you work in a ministerial position? You cannot avoid learning about Father’s Words because you must give a sermon every Sunday and lecture about the Principle to newcomers. When we realize it, this is actually a great benefit.

Your doctorate degree will not do you much good when you go to spirit world. However, if you are a pastor, you have to keep looking for Father’s Words because you must do your utmost to satisfy the members. Then how grateful should we be to Father who has given us his Words? Father has given us more than 400 volumes of books worth of Words and now we must delve ourselves into it.

Diligently reading Father’s Words means that others and I are living in the same time and space as he. What is the most precious things one could gain from his pastoral position? It is the fact that he must read Father’s Words a lot and speak about Father’s Words a lot. Think about Father. What is Father’s purpose of coming on this Earth? Father came to give the Words that were lost to humanity due to the fall. Was there anyone in the history of mankind who spoke of God’s heart so precisely and eloquently? There was not.

Since the human ancestors lost the Words, Father had to find the Words through each stage from the position of a sacrificial offering. Father gives us these Words to use; his Words of the world of Shim Jeong, from the highest position. Also, Father’s Words are Words of re-creation.

As father was born on this Earth with the body of a human, and become completely one, in heart with God. Now no one can defeat Father’s Words and his ideal. Father told us that therefore, sometimes in the future, people will realize that the books in libraries are worthless and we should burn them all. After coming in contact with Father’s Words, I never read other books for many decades. I felt that other books were just not worth my time.

Some elder pastors try to improve their sermon skills by reading collections of books written by Christian pastors. They should not do that. Father hates this very much. Also, we should not publish our own sermon book. Father once become very angry at the news that someone published such book. “what have you spoke that is worthy of such a collection?”, he said. Father was angry because some pastors merely spoke a few words from Father’s Words and added their one words.

Father said it is ok however for family members to publish their collection of testimonies. Father want us to continue reading his Words, talk to others members about his Words, and live inside the Words.

Father once said that he wants that he die as a martyr after his legs fail while giving his Words to us. Father said that he could not die as a normal person, lying comfortably in a bed.

I once cried a lot in my heart. It was the time of the Blessing of 6,500 couples in the Ilhwa McCol Factory in Yongin. As I have said earlier, people who join the church after marrying their spouse outside the church offer more devotion. About 250 such couples were coming to receive the Blessing. Some wives had to persuade their husbands and some had to force their spouses to come.

I got words that these people would be arriving around 7 in the evening. After hearing this, Father said he would not eat until these people arrive. Father kept speaking to the Korean couples who were being blessed. However, it become 7 in the evening and they did not come.

Mother became worried and she told me to tell Father to eat dinner. I was reluctant, thinking I would be scolded by Father when I tell him that. Then Mother told Eun Jin Nim, “Eun Jin, go tell your father.” Then Eun Jin Nim carefully told Father, “Father you should eat now.” Father became angry suddenly and said “Is eating that important? Is sleeping that important?” In the end, we were only scolded and failed to serve Father his dinner.

Father kept speaking until 5 in the morning of the next day when they finally arrived, staying up all night. Father kept speaking without even sleeping. When the married Japanese couples to be blessed finally came, Father made them come to the room where he was giving the speech, made two families come onto the stage, gave a benediction, and then told the church president to lead the Blessing ceremony instead.

I was in charge of giving pressure massages to Father at the time. I felt the need to get some sleep and I must have being sleeping in a corner of the lecture hall. Then Mother called for me suddenly, Gil Ja! Come quickly!” I went to her in hurry.

When I went to the room where Parents were, Father’s legs were so stiff that he could not even sit down with his legs bend. Father could not sit down naturally as a normal person could but fell down on the floor sideways with a heavy thump. He was like a old tree failing to the ground.

There was a man named Mr. Yoon who was also there to give pressure massages to Father. He massaged Father’s upper body and I massaged Father’s legs. Father’s legs were so stiff and hard that it was very difficult to massage them. I wanted to cry my heart out but I had to hold back.

Father’s legs were as stiff as a log that it was almost impossible to massage them with my fingers. I knew it would be more painful but I had to massage them with my elbows. It was still difficult. I felt as if Father was going to die. Mother was also in a state of panic, not knowing what to do. Father’s entire body was solidified.

I felt a great sense of emergency. This had already happened before in America. On that day, Father spoke for 12 hours while standing. Father’s legs were almost paralyzed due to the arduous schedule of the tour but Father did not care.

Father slept on the bed with Mother that night. While sleeping, Father woke up to go to bathroom. Father’s study room was right outside his bedroom and he had to go through the study room to get to the bathroom. Father barely managed to go to the study room and he fell to the floor when his legs became too stiff. He completely lost his senses in his legs. Father said that he thought ‘O, I’m going to go to the spirit world like this.’ After some time had passed, Father emerged from unconsciousness and made a resolution to survive, thinking ‘No, not yet, not now.’ Father must have completely lost control of his limbs when he fell on the floor like that.

At this time, Father told his legs, ‘My legs! Please get up one more time. If you can get up and support my body, would you not come to heaven with me?’ It was not only his legs that froze but it was his entire body. Father had to summon all of his strength and will power to massage his own body to finally get the blood flowing. The situation was truly dire. I heard this story directly from Father.

Hearing such story from Father before, I could not contain my shock and anxiety seeing Father in such state. My personal shock and panic were one thing, but what do you think Mother had felt? Try to imagine. I cannot describe how scared I was. I wondered if Father’s heart had stopped but I felt so bad about putting my ear against his heart to check.

Massaging Father’s stiff body with Mr. Yoon. I wanted to cry my heart out but I could not. I would not cry in front of Father and Mother so I had to hold back my tears with all my strength. I remembered Father saying that he would die while speaking and I wondered if maybe this was the time when that will truly happen.

As exemplified by this story, Father’s body is a wreck. It’s easy for us to assume that Father is in good health because he is the Messiah and he is born with a special body. Unfortunately, that is not the case. We must understand that Father truly gives his Words to us even today with all his strength and might, even facing death.

Father once said that if he relaxes and began to sleep, he will sleep for more than ten years.

Father could not even pray for mother

My heart ached many times because of mother’s brittle body. Mother began giving birth at a very young age. Mother went also though many caesarian sections. Because of that, Mother’s body has become very weak over the years. Mother even refuses the cool breeze from air conditioners during the summers. She avoids cold air because every joint in her body aches whenever she is hit by it.

Following his mission, Father worked very hard for the McCol factory, which was in Yongin at the time. Mother was not even able to sleep soundly or eat properly in order to follow Father’s busy schedule. Mother had developed a stomach ulcer because of it and she suffered so much when she was in Alaska. It was obvious why her body became so weak.

In Alaska, Father used to leave the house around 5 in the morning, so breakfast were served at around half past 4. Then every day, Mother said, “I can’t eat” and refused breakfast. She skipped breakfast and, at lunch on the boat out in the ocean, she was able to have good lunch. However, she could not eat dinner. They would leave the ocean around 10 pm, and return home around 11 pm. Dinner would be served then.

Mother was only able to eat lunch properly out of the three meals. Mother drank a cup of juice and a piece of rice cake as breakfast in order to follow Father’s schedule, but she was not able to have a proper meal when she became hungry.

In the end, she developed a chronic stomach ulcer and her stomach would hurt very much when she became even a little hungry. She risks her life like this in an effort to follow Father’s schedule. When I see her remaining so beautiful, even after enduring so much hardship such as giving birth to true children, I truly feel that the heaven is protecting her.

Father of course is aware of Mother’s severe pain; Father once said this in McCol factory in Yongin, Gyeongi province.

“I saved many lives with prayers. However, I cannot pray for Mother, I cannot pray for Mother if there is even one woman in this world shedding tears for whatever reason. As righteous women who are in the position of Mother’s daughters are still captivated in the darker corner of the Earth, Mother must share their sufferings at in one form. That is why Mother’s body must suffer. That is why I can’t pray for Mother even though I can completely relieve her of bodily pain with a simple prayer.”

I felt so sorry and I did not know what to do when I realized that the ideal form of couple’s love, the love of True Parents, must rigidly follow the righteous path. I reminded myself of this whenever I had the chance in my long life, and I lost count of how many times I shed tears thinking about our poor Mother.

It is a sin to know such things and still fall to abide by them. It’s Ok if we live normal lives without knowing these but I felt that serving True Parents from such a close distance can be very difficult in living a filial life, I carry a strong sense of guilt.

When I think about True Parents who are spearheading the providence with their lives on the line, I come to feel maybe we can think about such True Parents and endure our own hardships no matter how difficult things could become at some times. True Parents do this while they heavily taxing their mind and body, thinking it would be adequate even if they had to die as martyrs so that they could lead us to salvation.